Diego Lafuente’s personal blog

February 7, 2005

Cibermini-d making a ciberpost for the ciberreaders

You know what? I love reading newspapers. I buy them, read the news, and sometimes even find out things that I couldn't here in the blogosphere. There are newspapers that report seriously and meticulously researched articles, while others take a more humorous or lighthearted approach to these topics. You know what else? Since I live in Spain, sometimes I'm interested in reading about what's happening in Argentina, so I read the newspapers from there as if I were having a coffee in downtown Buenos Aires.

One of those newspapers is Clarín, the largest (I think), but not the best (my personal taste), yet I still read it. It turns out that in recent months I have become a frequent visitor to the computer section to see what they have to say. I observe a lot of effort, a lot of dedication, a lot of information, but... there's one thing that bothers me, a cyst, a stabbing pain in my eyes, it's like a loop of David Bisbal singing, I don't know how to explain it: it's the damn word "cyber".

I couldn't hold it in, I had to say it. You knew I had to say it.

When I read the word "cyber" in an article from the Clarín newspaper's computer section, I feel like they're treating me like an idiot or a child. I automatically start itching, my stomach turns, and a disgusting rash starts from my testicles and goes up to my neck. The Clarín newspaper, specifically in the computer section, uses "cyber" for everything. It's a very naive, silly, and ultra-fantasy term.

I am (as many know) a tolerant person. I don't get worked up when I read "surfing" instead of "browsing" or "moving" through the Internet, nor when I read things like "compu" —how cute— for "computer." But this "cyber" case is too much for me, so much so that I dedicate a post on to it. "Cyber" is the pain in the ass that nobody wants to have, and it deserves a post on, gosh darn it.

The dilema

I think "cyber" is more focused on cybernetics or something more tangible and spatial than the internet (a few cables [and satellites] through which information flows). I don't think it can be applied to anything other than a bad movie about virtual reality than to packet routing using the TCP/IP protocol. Now, I sincerely believe, not to be controversial, that these people need to update themselves a bit and leave the word "cyber" behind. Seriously people, enough is enough. Stop dumbing down the population, the readers who come to read interesting things and now find out that a virus is a "cyberbug" or that the English band Chemical Brothers makes "cybermusic". What are we talking about?

Every article I read in this supplement reminds me of scenes from the 90s movie "Hackers" (you know, the one where Angelina Jolie and the hacker guy do some mental 3D while she masturbates him), and those wonderful scenes of 3D environments in the style of The Matrix passing files back and forth with thunder and electrical discharges.

No, my friends, the internet is not a cyberspace. In fact, forget about the idea of plugging something into your eyes and chatting with your hands in the air, jumping off buildings without a hair out of place. That only happens in bad Keanu Reeves movies.